Earnestly Desire Spiritual Gifts

Some years ago, my habit was to begin my prayer walks by asking Father what was on His mind. Sometimes I'd get a sense of something, maybe a topic to pray about, maybe something to confess, maybe I needed to pray in tongues for a bit.

So I'd start with that topic first. Since those walks were about an hour long, it was pretty rare that the topic he gave me would take the whole time; at some point, I would feel a release in my spirit, and I knew I could go on to other topics on my mind. We had been working with this model for a couple of years, four or five times a week. It was a good season.

One day, it might have been a Monday, he asked me to pray 1Corinthians 14:1: "Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy." That's an awkward verse for a Presbyterian boy to pray, but that's what I felt him saying. So I spent some time praying through these three points, I felt the release to go on, and I went on to other topics.
 

The next day, he gave me the same assignment. That hadn't happened before, but let's be honest: "business as usual" is not a normal model with God. I wondered if maybe I'd missed something yesterday, so I was especially detailed in praying through the verse, but I felt the release to go on, so I did.

One Wednesday, he said the same thing. And Thursday. And Friday. He never said any more about the verse, just that I needed to pray the verse.

We didn't have walks together over the weekend, so I kind of wondered if we were done with that verse.

We were not. Every day that week, he asked me to pray that verse. And every day the next week. And the next.

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to do the same thing every day, and you didn't see any point in it? Did you get tired of it? Did you grow to resent it? I did. Every day, pray the same three things. It went on for months. I got to the point where I'd grumble out, "Yes, I pursue love, and I desire spiritual gifts, especially that I may prophesy. Am I done? Can we go on now?" This went on for months!

And he was always kind and gentle, and I always felt that sense of release, though very often it was tinged with his chuckle, and we'd go on.

I was confused by the same requirement every day, but it never discouraged me from looking forward to my walks with him. And he was never grumpy, and not nearly as legalistic as I was about it. We had good walks together, covering loads of topics, and though I didn't count on it, his presence was often near. Those were really wonderful times, though they started strangely every time. I never told a soul about that strange season, not even my bride.

About that time, the church that had been our family for years shut down, so we went looking for our next assignment. We eventually found excellent fellowship in a community two counties away. After a while, I wanted to get to know the men in that family, so I signed up for the men's retreat with them.

The fellowship was pretty good, and the meetings were interesting. A remarkably gifted teacher spoke for a bit (good stuff!) and then turned the meeting over to a prophet we knew. This was back at the beginning of the prophetic movement, and is sure was more interesting than the Calvinist church I'd grown up with. Rather exciting, really.

One session, when it was the prophet's turn, he announced that some guys would be feeling a physical sensation in their gut, and would those guys please come forward, because God has something for you. I was hungry enough that I started forward before even checking to see if had that sensation, but by the time I reached the front, there was something that I could identify, so I felt like I wasn't cheating.

The guys that he ministered to seemed to affirm the words he was declaring to them (tears are a good thing, right?) so I waited my turn and enjoyed God's presence in the meantime. Eventually it was my turn.

The prophet slaps a hand on me and announces, "God says that you've been asking him for the prophetic." I remind you of my strange prayer times during that whole season! I felt seriously set up!

As my head was spinning, he went on to say that God was answering my prayer, and I think he said some other things. I confess, I was distracted.

So all those months, God was setting me up. I guess my Calvinist & fundamentalist background got in my way (in our way?), so it seemed he needed to go all "Jehovah Sneaky" on me to get me to get over my prejudices and invite him to work in me.

So I forgave him for the sneaky maneuver. And yeah, I've had a small part to play in the prophetic realm (I still have to tell people, no, I'm not "Northwest Prophet!")

I'm just a very much loved son, playing in the shallower half of that pool. And I'm loving my sneaky Daddy.

Beauty Even in Destruction

This photo is in the rotation of images that I use for my computer’s screen saver, so sometimes when I walk into my office this image is on my large computer screen. That happened this morning. 

I found myself first-of-all appreciating the beauty in the image, and commenting that my Father even makes destruction into beauty. I so admire him! 

After a second, I observed that part of my mind felt obligated to feel guilty for appreciating the beauty in such a destructive event. At that point, I examined that guilty feeling: some of it is a conditioned response based on my culture. I knew folks whose lives were dramatically changed (or ended) by that event. 

And that led me to this thought: “I describe this as a destructive event because of the humans and human construction and human convenience that were disrupted. But this is just how the mechanical systems of this playground of ours called Earth functions.” 

 There certainly was no malice in the event, no intent to disrupt or cause harm. This is just how the planet functions. 

And I realized how much I tend to define what goes on around me by how it inconveniences me or entertains me or impresses me with beauty. I will continue to admire beauty wherever I find it, but maybe inappropriate to evaluate the world by how it impacts me. 

Do y’all have some suggestions for other standards for defining the world around us? 

God Works Within Our Worldview

I'm sure you're aware that none, not a single one, of God's followers is perfect in everything we say, think and do? Amazingly, that includes you and me.

Did you realize that this didn't actually get in the way of God working with us and through us? Surprisingly, God does not expect absolute perfection from us the day that we first meet him.

It's not that God doesn't care about our shortcomings; he's just not disillusioned by the fact that we have them. He loves us anyway. He works with us anyway.

And while he works with us in our shortcomings, he doesn't leave us with those failures, doomed to eternal imperfection and unwitting brokenness. He relates to us in the broken, imperfect place, and he works through the broken imperfection to refine us, to make us more complete, to make us more like himself.

Take Abraham, for example. Abe grew up in Ur, an ancient Sumerian city-state in southern Mesopotamia (modern-day southern Iraq); he spent his first 75 years there [Genesis 12:4], so he was well and truly a child of the Sumerian polytheistic culture. Sacrifices were regularly performed to honor, appease, or seek favor from the gods, ensuring divine protection, fertility, and prosperity for the city and its people. The system included offerings of food, animals, and sometimes humans.

It was in the midst of that cacophony of deities that God speaks to Abe and tells him to leave the city. The problem is that Abe took 75 years of his history in the city with him when he left. He took the Sumerian culture with him.

So when God tells Abraham to head up the  mountain and sacrifice his son [Genesis 22:2], he didn't hesitate. In his experience, this is what gods did, so he assumed that the God that called him to leave the city demanded the same kind of sacrifice that the other gods demanded. Who was he to expect something different?

His adult son Isaac had not grown up in polytheistic Sumeria, but he'd grown up with polytheistic Abraham, so he didn't hesitate either. This is what gods demanded. Who are we to cross the gods?

And in the midst of both Abe and Zac complying with the call for a human sacrifice, God breaks in and interrupts the process. He provided a ram for the sacrifice and introduces himself as "Jehovah Jireh," The-LORD-Will-Provide (well, technically as "YHWH Yireh"). God was saying, "Abe, this is how you do things, but this is not how I do things. Let me show you how I do things: when I require something of you, I will be the provision for it. This is the God you're working with now."

The principle I take away from this is that God doesn't sweat the details: he works with us in whatever condition we're in, even while he restores our misshapen condition to a healthy place in him.

God and Abe had already been through this once before. In Genesis 15, God cut a covenant with Abe. He told him, "Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old." So Abe the Sumerian does what Sumerians do: he chops the animals in half. God didn't ask for that, but he rolled with Abe's traditions [H. C. Leupold, Exposition of Genesis, The Wartburg Press, 1972, p. 480].

I work with the assumption that none of us is perfect yet. And yet, I observe that God uses us to do his stuff in the Earth. Ergo, God works with imperfect people in our imperfect state, not offended by the imperfection, not even offended by the stupid things we believe about him.

Someone smart once said that "now I know in part, but then I will know fully [when the perfect has come]." Not a one of us "knows fully" yet. So God works with what we've got.

In other words, while we learn God's heart, his values, in the Bible, we would do best if we did not make the things that his people do in the Bible our standard. Not even the heroes (like Abe).

Apparently we do not need to chop animals in half or sacrifice our children in order to receive a promise from God. That's just they way Abe did it, largely because of his polytheistic Sumerian roots.

We probably don't need to seduce our friend's wife (and then put out a hit on our friend) like King David did in order to raise an heir to carry on the work God had given him. We probably don't need to kill church folk with our words like Peter did with Ananias and Sapphira when they lie about their generosity.  We could go on.

But wait, I can hear some folks say, won't that undermine the "Authority of the Word of God" in people's lives? Actually, no, though it probably will undermine the imagined authority of the religious leaders who control people with their Bible teachings. And that's not such a bad thing, is it?

You see, we were never designed to follow a written book as our guide for life, not even some leader's teachings about what the book says. The book was for the purpose of drawing us into relationship with a living God; we follow the living God. We continue to learn things from the Book that was written by earlier followers. And we can continue to learn from leaders whose goal is to serve the people of God rather than control them, assuming that they're following the living God and not just the teachings of other leaders who came before them.

Over the years, I've been teaching that unless we question our beliefs, we can never know if they're our beliefs, or if they're someone else's beliefs living in our head. This article is part of my questioning some of my historic beliefs, only to find that they were my denomination's beliefs, not mine.

It's hard to discover this, but it gives me the opportunity to get rid of my own false beliefs and learn more of what's actually true about my very real and very loving Father, who is not ashamed of my brokenness and ignorance.